The Childcare Center That Changed Me More Than My Son

30 Purattasi 2026 Introduction Most expatriate Tamil parents living in Switzerland, when reading articles about the childcare centre known as “Kita,” generally look for information about cost, hours, and admission procedures. But this article, beyond such practical details, shares a rarely spoken-about inner transformation that took place in the mind of a Tamil mother. It is an experiential account of what I saw, learned, and what made me reconsider my own parenting approach during the first six months after enrolling my son in childcare. The shock of the first day The day I left my son at the childcare centre for the first time and came back, his crying did not affect me—it was what I expected. What truly shocked me was a scene I saw there—on a cold, overcast morning, even one-year-old children, dressed in thick clothing, were outside in the garden playing in the soil. Having grown up with Tamil Nadu habits, my first thought was, “Why are they sending these children outside in such cold?” “There is no bad weather” When I asked a staff member about this, he calmly quoted a Swiss proverb: “There is no bad weather, only the wrong clothing.” This single sentence called into question the very foundational principles of the way I was raised. In Tamil Nadu homes, cold, rain, and heat—these are all seen as dangers from which children must be “protected.” But here, a fundamentally different philosophy prevails: nature is not something to be avoided, but something to be faced with proper preparation. Staff who don’t come running the moment you raise your hand In the second week, my son fell in the play area—a small, harmless fall. As per Tamil custom, I immediately ran over and tried to pick him up. But a childcare staff member gently stopped me and said, “Let him first get up on his own.” That small moment taught me a big lesson—the Swiss childcare philosophy values children’s own problem-solving ability and their capacity to cope independently, more than immediate adult intervention. The habit of eating on one’s own In Tamil families, feeding children by hand—by the parents or grandparents—until a relatively older age is considered a common and affectionate practice. But at the childcare centre, even one-and-a-half-year-old children are encouraged to hold their own spoon and eat by themselves, even if they spill. At first, this felt like “carelessness” to me. But over time, I understood that this is in fact an intentional approach that builds independence and self-confidence from a very young age. Reconsidering my own parenting approach As these experiences continued, I began asking myself an important question—thinking I was protecting my child, was I in fact taking away opportunities for him to develop independence and resilience? It was a difficult, but necessary question. There is no doubt that the love and care in Tamil parenting are valuable, but the Swiss approach taught me a distinction between “showing love” and “doing everything for them.” Allowing children to resolve conflicts on their own Another notable observation was that when small disputes arise among children, staff do not immediately intervene and deliver a verdict. Instead, they stand nearby and observe, first giving children a chance to resolve the conflict themselves, and only if necessary do they gently guide them. This was completely different from the common Tamil practice of immediate adult intervention, and it seemed to help children develop emotional regulation and negotiation skills at a very young age. Not losing cultural identity While embracing these new approaches, I also tried to maintain an important balance—combining Swiss values of independence with Tamil values of warmth and family orientation. Even as I encouraged my son to eat by himself, I continued sharing Tamil songs and stories at home. Even as I allowed him to face nature, I continued introducing Tamil cultural festivals and values. The change I saw after six months After six months, I felt a change not only in my son, but also in myself. If he falls now, he gets up on his own; he eats by himself; he tries to resolve small issues with other children on his own. I, too, had changed—I had reduced the urgency to run over for every small fall, and had begun to place greater trust in his own abilities. A message for other Tamil parents For Tamil parents who are newly immigrating to Switzerland, or planning to enrol their child in childcare for the first time, I would like to share a simple but profound message from my experience: approach this change not as a loss, but as an opportunity for growth. Your concerns about your child’s safety are natural, but being open-minded to the approaches of the new environment may teach new, valuable lessons—not only to your child, but also to you. Conclusion My experience of enrolling my son in a childcare centre in Switzerland taught me an unexpected lesson—good parenting is not only about protecting a child from every risk; it is also about giving them opportunities to trust in their own abilities. This experience has beautifully taught me that migrant life is a continuous learning journey that transforms not only our children, but also us. Published by: Arivuppasi Media